Mike told me many times that I had ADD. I blew it off. I thought I was just a spaz, that I was forgetful, that I had a lot on my mind. Turns out Mike was right. My shrink picked up on it just in our sessions and suggested testing. I finally agreed to it and we did three hours of testing. When we were done I learned I not only had ADD but had had it for a very long time. Dr. Getz explained that my IQ is 135 on the intellectual side. But years of untreated ADD have left me a considerably lower overall score of about 120; still nothing to sneeze at but a very big drop. And that drop is due to slow processing times, failing memory and a real inability to focus for very long. The doc said it went unnoticed for so long because my smarts masked the usual red flags or trouble in work or school. Although I've found myself getting easily confused, distracted and flustered lately. I thought I was just out of practice in doing office work and still suffering through the anxiety. So we will start working on exercises I can do to improve my retention and on April 2nd I sit down with the practice's psychiatrist for a consult and to get a prescription for meds. It's still strange to wrap my head around but it actually explains SO many things so I have great hope that my life will really improve if treatment is successful. It also further justifies that I have made the right decision by continuing my acting hiatus.
The anxiety and depression have waned a great deal, I am now able to sleep without medicinal assistance, and my confidence has boosted. I even finally spent a session of therapy addressing my 9/11 memories. We just scratched the surface but it's a big step for me and I'm hoping to finally stop giving that day so much control over my life.
The temp job is going well and I'm having a good time mostly. I'm being challenged with some math and bookkeeping but that's good for my brain and it keeps me from getting too bored. This morning I got to my desk to find my boss had bought me breakfast! Sweet huh? Are you listening, Michelle? He's thoughtful...just sayin'... The managers are so happy with me that they are trying to find a way to de-unionize the position I'm sitting in for and hire me on. I've already decided that if they can make that happen that I will take it for, at least, the remainder of 2012 and then re-evaluate my situation. If I have to have a day job at least it's one I can somewhat enjoy. I like getting to help veterans and feeling like I make some small difference, especially for vets who call in about their PTSD.
And now that they have made it publicly known I can tell you that my "niece" Ashley and her husband Brian, at long last, are expecting a baby in early October. They are excited and nervous and I am cautiously optimistic for them. But so far this pregnancy seems to be going much better and Ashley is under the constant care of an amazing medical team that is giving her the best chance for a full-term, healthy baby. Brian is in rehearsals in NY for a new Bway gig and Ashley is in Texas with her family. It must be very tough for them but they know it is for the best and only temporary. Ash is keeping busy with giving voice lessons and working hard on their foundation, Gideon's Feet. So please keep the three of them in your thoughts and hopes for a healthy mama and baby.
Well, I'm off to bed and am very happy that tomorrow is Friday. I leave you with a pic I shot. The image was just appealing to me. This is a farm next to the supermarket.
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