The Odyssey

Feeling like Odysseus after years at sea and battling Scylla and Charibdis I made the final trek from Jacksonville to Coral Springs. I took my time getting there and decided to stop in St. Augustine to see the Fountain of Youth. The entrance has a big cheesy sign over it looking like it leads to a Ren fair. I paid my $9 and went in to see a piece of early American history. I’m not sure what I expected to see but the fountain itself was simply an underwhelming tiny well. Everyone was offered a little plastic Dixie cup of the water and I accepted mine. Maybe I’ll get my wish and stop aging! Well, eternal youth tastes like ass. It was horribly sulphuric. Plus Ponce de Leon is dead so I guess he wasn’t really on to something after all. But the cool thing was the place has tons of peacocks and pea hens in all shapes and colors. One was hanging out on the sign to the bathrooms and it let me walk right up to it and touch it. It cawed at me (very loudly) but it didn’t run away. He was gorgeous. So I wandered from exhibit to exhibit but I kept gravitating to the peacocks.

You can purchase offensive folk art at the Fountain of Youth gift shop. Nice.

I arrived around 5:00 and started settling in to our super ghetto cast house. It’s one long building with three apartments of three bedrooms each. Luckily the named female characters all got their own bedrooms so I was SOOOOOO relieved. I unpacked and decorated my room to make it more homey as I usually do. My roommates arrived from the shortly after I did. We hit the Publix supermarket and I stocked up on healthy food with lots of fresh fruits and veggies. We have quickly bonded over our crappy apartment. It was apparently never cleaned before we moved in and there are tons of ants in the kitchen. Since this is a non-union theatre and I can never work here again then it doesn’t matter if I piss of the management so I elected myself the non-equity deputy and got to work on these problems. Now, three days later, we are still waiting for the exterminator to come (tomorrow) and then the cleaning crew. But Mara (who plays Mabel) and I sprayed the whole kitchen and cabinets down with any spray then scoured it from top to bottom. You guys, this is going to be an even rougher contract than HSM was in Arizona.

The first day we had no company meeting, no schedule, nothing. My role is kind of odd in that I have a small supporting role who doesn’t speak much but I’m onstage a lot. So they have no idea what to do with me and I don’t know where I’m supposed to be during rehearsals. So the girls worked on a tap number and I went with the guys and learned music. The guys are interesting. Jeff and I recognized each other from auditions. I love Joey, and Chris is my gay bestie on this one. I always seem to find my gay bestie on the first day of every gig. This local old guy is socially awkward and out of place and can best be described to my Harrisburg friends as Fort Lauderdale’s Jay Miffoluf. Ken, the guy who’s playing Fatty Arbuckle, is the spitting image of a younger Charles Durning and feels the need to crack jokes constantly. Then there’s Michael who looks like Sean Penn and says every bizarre thing that comes to mind and who, frankly, creeps me out. We all just refer to him as Weirdo. So learning the music took forever because we had two or three guys that would never shut up. Then the score is hand-written as sometimes happens so it’s hard to read lyrics and notes. One of my notes we could only discern as being a two. Nice huh? The music is classic Jerry Herman so it sounds just like La Cage, Dolly and Mame. Everytime we sing Mabel’s name I want to replace it with Mame. The girls’ big tap number looked amazing at the end of the day so we’ve got some really good tappers.

Today I worked on music this morning with the girls and then we staged a number (yes, I even dance a tiny bit in this one) but since we got back from lunch I’ve done nothing but write this blog entry. We still have no rehearsal schedule. The music director has the guys, the choreographer has the girls and the director has Mack and Mabel and I’m sitting in the back of the theatre waiting to be used and never getting an answer on whether I can go home and work on music and such if I’m not going to be used. Nancy, our stage manager, is also our company manager and just about everything else. It’s ridiculous. I’m trying very hard to have patience but I can’t tell you how glad I am that this is my last non-eq contract that I have to get through. I’m trying to make it a useful experience by taking the time to get healthier. I live with our dance captain and a fitness freak so they are motivating my meal choices and we went and joined the gym together last night and I got a good workout in. Since I’ve paid for 2 months up front and they will go a lot that will help keep me going. I at least want to get rid of the weight I regained after tour then I’ll go from there.

Well that’s my tale from the first couple of days of rehearsal. I’m off to work on music if I’m not going to be utilized and am stuck here til 6:00. Waaaaa Waaaaaaaaaa.