Hypocrisy

So yesterday I had a busy day in the City. My day was so packed that I didn't even tell anyone I was coming in.  Anyway I started with an EPA (Equity principal audition) at Ripley Grier Studios on 8th Ave. for the Roundabout Theatre Company which was cool and I think it went fairly well.  Next I ran up to Telsey on 43rd for, believe it or not, my first Broadway audition for Catch Me If You Can which is likely already cast but it was another chance to get in front of another of Telsey's casting folks.  Then I went over to the Equity building in Times Square to check the boards.  There were free tickets up for Lombardi on Broadway that night and I called Mike on the off chance he felt like he could make it in to see the show.  I couldn't fathom seeing a show about Vince Lombardi without him!  We weren't able to make that work this time but it was worth a shot!  After that I grabbed a quick lunch at Chipotle and ran up to Nola Studios (maybe the crappiest audition space in NYC and one that I thought I'd never have to see again now that I'm Equity) on 54th Street for my Westchester Broadway audition.  There I ran into a lot of friends so that was awesome.  Even better it turned out my friend Mark was the Asst. Dir. and my old old friend Brent was the accompanist so I felt great going in there.  And I thought I nailed it but, alas, they didn't ask me to stick around to move.  Boooooo! 

I have definitely calmed down at auditions now that I'm getting back into the swing of things.  I'm more relaxed and I'm finally no longer doing my whole nervous talk too much thing.  I told Mike I think I've finally learned to stop putting so much pressure on myself.  On my non-eq. auditions I really was hard on myself at every audition because I thought if I didn't get the callback or book the gig that I was a failure because the competition wasn't all that stiff.  Now, since I know right off the bat that I'm fighting an uphill battle with tons of competition in addition to being such a specific type, I'm much less stressed out about booking the work.  I was disappointed not to get kept at the Westchester call but still totally fine and not kicking myself.  I guess I'm just expecting less of myself which may sound bad but it's allowing me to relax in the room and really just focus on getting my name out there with all these casting directors who don't know me and if a job comes from it then that's gravy.

As for the "Hypocrisy" title of my entry today, that comes from a new attitude I find I have that surprises and disappoints me.  For those who don't know, at a union audition you go in, you get your time slot and then the place empties out except for those auditioning in the first couple of time slots.  The waiting area is also, generally, occupied by people with more experience under their belts who are just focused on their audition and some chatting with friends but it's not all that noisy or crowded or chaotic.  Non-union calls are packed with young performers, the rooms are loud, there are people and things everywhere, you have to sidestep around people sitting on the floor.  It's just nuts.  I always felt a pervasive attitude, as a non-union person going to try to get seen at union calls, that I was not welcome.  By union rules there is a sign-up sheet for non-union actors to get seen if time or the casting director permits but I still always felt judged and less-than and now I know why.  Much to my chagrin I found myself resenting the presence of the non-eqs.  There were so many of them in the holding room waiting to see if they could get seen that it made me feel like I was back at a non-union call.  It made it crowded which made it hot and it was loud and hard to find a place to sit and I thought "This is our call, go to your own."  COMPLETELY hypocritical and I feel bad even saying it but it's the honest truth and now I see the other side of things.